together we're heavy

i wonder if every pregnant person feels this way or if it's just me, but i feel like i can't really get close to this baby until i meet it personally and everything goes ok. i think worrying that something will go wrong before then is preventing me from really wanting to bond with the baby. i think it may just be my worrying nature. i have a good feeling that everything will be fine, but there is always that feeling in the back of my head that says not to become too attached, because you never know. i feel bad that i feel this way. i also feel lost about what we need, when to get a pediatrician lined up, and how to take care of a brand new baby. i guess i'm starting to feel the countdown now that this pregnancy is 1/2 over, and it's causing me to be panicky. i'm really excited, don't get me wrong, but i'm also really nervous. i babysat constantly when i was younger, but i have never been around a brand new baby 24/7...i need encouragement!!!